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Old 09-04-2012, 08:59 AM
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Typhlosion Explosion Offline
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Default Re: Yes, Another Nuzlocke Story (White)

Quote:
So, it was Quinn's tenth birthday, as always in the Pokemon world.
I think you were starting a thought and then went off track. ^^;

You may have meant to say, "So, it was Quinn's tenth birthday, as always in the Pokemon world, he would be eligible to receive is first Pokemon."

Also, be sure never to begin a sentence with "So" or "And"!

Quote:
He didn't know no Void
I'm not sure if this is grammatically correct. Maybe you could've used, "I didn't know any kind of Void" or, "I didn't know anyone named Void".

Otherwise, the story started off great! Good job my little writer! XD
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