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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 04-06-2007, 08:34 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2007
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Default Life's like a dream

Well, It's about time my lazy ass told me to post the fic I've been writing, got the first 5 chapters up and running already so here they are, hope you like 'em:

Main Characters:


Kotetsu Karanara

Shin Karanara

Karumi Mimere

Marumi Mimere



Chapter 1: A new Beginning


"RIIIIIIIIIIING!!" was the sound that came from Kotetsu's and Shin's alarm clock that they had to hear every morning to wake up, the dark haired brother and sister stretched out their arms, still sleepy from the whole night they spent studying. Kotetsu just went over to prepare his breakfast while Shin opened the windows, the bright sun hitting her face.

Kotetsu and Shin were both half wolves, and were the only survivors of their clan, the Karanara clan. They grew up shunned from everyone because of the fact that they were part wolf, but they both kept going, ignoring the taunts and insults they received as children. They always defended each other, protected themselves from any harm that would come to them.

It's been ten years since the tragic massacre of Kotetsu's and Shin's family, now that they were both 14, they had experienced alot in those ten years of their childhood, but they had grown strong from everything and had learned that to survive they had to watch out for each other.

That very morning was Kotetsu's and Shin's first day in the ninth grade, they were both exited to meet their new classmates and teachers, but had a feeling that something bad was gonna happen today, but they kept their heads high and forgot about that.

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"Yawwwwn... so Kotetsu, what do you think our first day will be like?" Shin had a sleepy face in her face, while putting on her training gloves.

In the other room, Shin was putting on her red skirt, that fell to on top of her knees, already having on her blue tank top.

"Meh, I guess it will be ok" Kotetsu looked at Shin's face of worry and smiled at her, calming her down.

In a black sleeve-less shirt with a blue flame design and baggy black pants, he grinned at his sister.

"Ok Kotetsu, I'm sure the day wont be TOO bad" Kotetsu laughed a bit when she said that, finishing his breakfast.

"Ok, are you ready to go sis?" Kotetsu put on his headband and walked over to the door, eager to leave.

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Kotetsu and Shin walked eagerly to school, wondering how many classes they would take, how many students there would be, how many teachers, etc. They thought that this day wouldn't go wrong after all, but they still had that wierd feeling. Even so, they kept walking over to school. In the way, they bumped into two girls, one of them dropped her books, while the other fell down, aperantly they were in the same grade as Kotetsu and Shin.

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"I'm sorry, are you ok?" Shin had a face of worry while helping up one of them.

"I'm fine, but could you watch where you're going instead of daydreaming?" The girl looked at Shin with a half grateful face and a half mad face

"I'm sorry, it wont happen again, anyways, my name is Shin Karanara" Shin sweatdropped and laughed

"Ok, anyways, my name's Marumi, Marumi Mimere" Marumi this time smiled at the young girl and nodded

Meanwhile, Kotetsu was helping the other girl pick up her books.

"I'm sorry, lemme help you out" Kotetsu was grabbing the girl's books one by one

"Oh it's ok, theres no ne-" The girl paused when she saw Kotetsu and blushed "Oh I'm... thank you..."

"No problem, it's my fault anyways, are you ok?" Kotetsu smiled at the girl while picking up the last few books

"Oh.. I'm fine... my name is Karumi Mimere by the way..." Karumi blushed more and took the books from Kotetsu's hand "Thank you"

"Your welcome, my name's Kotetsu Karanara anyways, nice to meet you" Kotetsu smiled and extended his hand

"Likewise" Karumi shaked Kotetsu's hand and smiled at the young boy

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And so, our chapter ends with the four of them walking to school. Could Karumi have a crush on Kotetsu? Did Shin and Kotetsu have the wrong feeling? Did Marumi and Karumi make new friends? Find out next time...

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Ch2: Karumi and Marumi, Friends or Rivals?

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"Likewise" Karumi shaked Kotetsu's hand and smiled at the young boy.

Kotetsu, Shin, Karumi and Marumi started walking to the school, telling each other stories and such to know each other better.

"...and then I whacked him right in the head so hard, he gave up and ran off icon_lol.gif " Kotetsu was telling everyone a story of a fight he had when he was a kid

"Oh my god, no way you did that "Marumi laughed when Kotetsu finished.

"Yeah, he did, i was there with him, the kid left crying and everything, I almost fell off my chair laughing "

"Hehehe... Kotetsu you are so funny " Karumi was laughing a little and tried to imagine what it was like.

" thanks Karumi" Kotetsu smiled at the girl and kept walking

"Hey guys, there's the school, let's go!!" Marumi and Karumi both said that, they were aperantly also exited about their new grade.

All four of the new friends ran over to the school, eager to see the insides. Karumi and Marumi were received kindly... but Shin and Kotetsu got glared at the instant the came in.

"Kotetsu... I think this was my bad feeling..." Shin had a face of worry in her face and tried to hide behind Kotetsu.

"Grrr... just ignore it, those ******** can glare at us all they want, we aren't gonna change what we are" Kotetsu had a mad face but he kept walking to his classroom, ignoring the glares he and Shin kept receiving.

"Uhm... Kotetsu, Shin, you are getting many glares, what did you do to get this?" Marumi had a curious face and was wondering what the fu** was happening.

"Uhm... I'm sure that it's not Kotetsu's fault about what he did... if he DID do anything..." Karumi was worried for Kotetsu and was praying that nothing bad happened to him.

"Sigh... It's a long story... I'd rather not tell... and Karumi, you're right, it's not our fault we're like this" Kotetsu closed his fist and kept walking.

At last, the four of them reached their class, they all sighed in relief, knowing they weren't being glared at anymore.

"Ok, we're here, time for a new day in our new school, in our new grade." Kotetsu smiled at the thought and sat down next to Karumi and his sister.

"Ok class, we have four new students, please stand up and introduce yourselves" The teacher smiled at the four, obviously he was a kind person.

"Ok, my name is Kotetsu Karanara, I hope i can meet you all and get to know you more" Kotetsu sat back down and took out his textbook.

"My name is Shin Karanara, obviously I'm Kotetsu's sister and like him, I hope I can meet you all and get to know you better" Shin sat down and started drawing on her sketchpad.

"The name's Marumi, Marumi Mimere, hope I can know you all better and blah blah blah" Marumi sat down and started writing something in her notebook.

"I uhm... my name is... Karumi Mimere... I'm Marumi's sister... I hope i can be everyone's friend eventually..." Karumi sat down and started humming a song quietly, looking at Kotetsu and blushing.

"Ok, Miss Kireke, could you demonstrate to us..." The teacher told the young emerald haired girl to make a diagram on the chalkboard.

"Ok, lemme just close my book" The blue eyed girl closed her book and walked over to the chalkboard.

"Very good Kikelia, you may return to your seat." The teacher smiled at the petite girl.

"Ok, thank you teacher" The girl walked back to her seat, but when she passed by Kotetsu, she winked at him and sat down.

"Err... did she just wink at me...?" Kotetsu had a puzzled look.

"Grrr... that little..." Karumi looked mad and cast a glare at Kikelia

"Ehh... Karumi, whats wrong?" Kotetsu wondered what was wrong with the girl.

"Oh uhm... nothing, nothing..." The young girl blushed and tried to hide her face.

"Err... ok...?" Kotetsu went back to the class and spent the rest of the time paying attention to the class.

And so, the classes passed, until recess was up. Kotetsu and the rest spent the rest of the day doing what they were told, hanging around, but most of all, getting to know each other better.

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And so, the group of four spent their whole day being glared at, studying and working. At last, school was over.

"Yawwwwn... well this day wasn't as bad as I thought." Kotetsu stretched his arms into the air and looked at the three girls.

"Yeah, we did get glared at but meh, those fools can glare all they want" Shin smiled and patted Kotetsu on the back.

"Oh yeah! I just remembered, I was gonna take a few pictures of us together, Ok, first me and Shin" Marumi smiled while she got next to Shin

"Ok girls, say cheese" Kotetsu holded the camera, ready to take the picture.

"CHEEEESE!!!" The two young girls smiled as the picture was taken.

"Ok, now you and Karumi" Shin smiled while she took the camera from Kotetsu's hand.

"Ok, come here Karumi" Kotetsu smiled while he and Karumi posed for the pic.

"Hehehe... Cheeeeese!!" The two smiled at the camera and the pic was taken.

"Well, see ya all tomorrow, bye guys" Marumi and Karumi waved good-bye and walked off.

And so, Shin and Kotetsu left to their own houses, waiting for tomorrow to come.

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And so, our chapter ends with Kotetsu and the rest going to each others houses, Will Karumi and Kotetsu be together at last? You'll find out soon...

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Chapter 3: The Revelation of Love

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"RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!" The sound that annoyed yet exited both Kotetsu and Shin was heard yet again, their morning alarm clock sounded meaning: Tomorrow was here!!!

"WOOHOO MORNING AT LAST!!!" Kotetsu and Shin both jumped out of their bed exited for school again.

They both got ready for school, ate their breakfast, took their textbooks and notebooks and left for school. On the way, they saw Karumi and Marumi, just like yesterday.

"HEY KARUMI, MARUMI, WAIT UP!!!" Kotetsu ran over to them as fast as he could to catch up.

"HEY KOTETSU, DON'T LEAVE ME BEHIND!!!" Shin ran after her brother as to not get left behind.

"KOTETSU, HI!!!" Karumi ran over to Kotetsu... and tripped with a rock, landing right on Kotetsu.

"I uh... Karumi... uh..." Kotetsu just starred at the young girl and blushed.

"Uhm... Kotetsu I uh... well..." Karumi starred back and blushed as well.

The two teenagers starred deeply into each other's eyes... they were left without words.

"I'm... I'm sorry Kotetsu..." Karumi got up and helped Kotetsu up, she was still blushing and tried not to look at Kotetsu.

"I err... It's ok... no need for saying sorry..." Kotetsu blushed and smiled at the young girl.

"HEY GUYS, HURRY UP!!!" Shin and Marumi were already walking off.

"HEY, DON'T LEAVE US BEHIND!!!" Both Kotetsu and Karumi said this at the same time, they looked and each other and laughed.

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The group of four reached the school. Both Kotetsu and Karumi were quiet that morning. Their first period began.

"Ok, Kotetsu, write me a diagram on what happens when a kunai gets thrown in a chakra pool." Their teacher seemed a little more serious than yesterday's teacher.

Kotetsu walked over to the chalkboard and started jotting down everything.

"There, what happens is, the kunai and the chakra pool may seem unaffected, but being metal, the kunai absorbs some of the chakra" Kotetsu explained and turned to let everyone see the diagram.

"Very good Kotetsu, you may return to your seat." The teacher erased the chalkboard and continued with the lesson.

The four first periods passed and recess came.

"So Kotetsu, how do you like the school so far?" Shin smiled at her brother and patted him on the head, "Got anyone you like?"

"Well... ok... don't tell her but... I like Karumi... please promise you wont tell her..." Kotetsu blushed when he saw Karumi walking over.

"Well, the gang's all here eh?" Marumi laughed and looked at everyone.

"Aperantly so ehehehe..." The three of them laughed and continued to eat.

After a while, Karumi left and got into a fight with some boys for no real reason, the boy's being who started.

"Hey you, you better stop hanging out with that loser Kotetsu or some real bad things are gonna happen, you got me?!" The boy, who was two years older than Karumi, took out a kunai-knife to show what would happen.

"I... I don't care... what you do... Kotetsu is my friend... I'm not going to stop... being with him..." The young girl was scared and was shaking.

"Oh really?! We'll see about that!!!" The guy was going to stab Karumi in the arm... but Kotetsu grabbed the guy's arm and knocked him down.

"HEY!! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!" Kotetsu yelled at the guy, he was red with anger and had his fists closed. "THIS IS NO WAY TO TREAT A GIRL YOU LOUSY BASTARD!!!"

"Grrr... you win this time... you little ass... you better watch your back..." The guy walked off, his arm hurting cuz Kotetsu hit it hard before knocking him down.

"Are you ok Karumi?" Kotetsu helped the young girl up. Karumi threw herself into Kotetsu and started crying.

"*sniff* Thank you Kotetsu... If you hadn't been there... *sniff* ...well... thank you..." The young girl wiped the tears off her face.

"It's ok, don't cry, if he ever tries to bother you again, I'll protect you... don't worry..." Kotetsu put his arms around her, smiling at her and calming her down.

"Thank you... you really are... a true friend..." Karumi smiled and the bell rang.

The rest of the day, they spent studying, etc., you get the idea, it's a school dammit
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The bell rang and everyone left the school, only Kotetsu and the other three remained.

"Hey Karumi, let's go for a walk, I want to tell you something..." Kotetsu smiled at her and waited at the door.

"Oh... Ok...I'll be there in a minute..." Karumi ran over to Kotetsu and they left to walk in the forest near the school.

"Well... Karumi... what I want to say is... well..." Kotetsu blushed, he tried to tell her how he felt... but the words wouldn't come out.

"Come on, out with it hehehe... you can tell me, don't worry" Karumi smiled and tripped, and accidentally made Kotetsu trip as well, making her land on top of him, face to face, eye to eye, nose to nose... you get my point >.>

They both starred at each other... Kotetsu and Karumi both knew what they wanted to say... and they were going to say it now...

"I uh... Karumi..."

"Yes... Kotetsu...?"

"Well... I want to say... that I... I... love you..."

A small moment of silence came upon the forest... all that could be heard where the wind, the river flowing nearby and the birds singing.

"I... love you too... Kotetsu..." They both starred at each other's eyes... they got closer to each other's faces... they got closer... and closer... and their lips united... they kissed... a moment of peace befell the forest... not a sound was heard...

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Well, our chapter ends with Kotetsu and Karumi finally declaring their love for each other... What will happen next? Meh... you'll find out when my lazy ass tells me to write.
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Now you know. <3

Last edited by Gaby; 04-06-2007 at 08:51 AM.
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  #2  
Old 04-06-2007, 08:35 AM
Gaby's Avatar
Gaby Offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
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Default Re: Life's like a dream

(Had to double-post, said thing was too long for the whole thing)

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Chapter 4: The Truth Behind The Karanara Family

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"I... love you too... Kotetsu..." They both starred at each other's eyes... they got closer to each other's faces... they got closer... and closer... and their lips united... they kissed... a moment of peace befell the forest... not a sound was heard...

Karumi and Kotetsu looked at each other and smiled... they knew they had found their other half.

"Oh Kotetsu... i love you so much... you're the best person I've ever met... you're so brave... how you stood up to that guy.. who was two years older than you... and-" Karumi was hushed by Kotetsu's finger on her soft lips.

"Enough with the praising... theres no need" Kotetsu smiled at the young girl and squeezed her tight.

"Oh... my... god... Marumi... did you see what I saw?" Shin and Marumi followed them both... nosy girls ~tsk tsk~

"Yes Shin... I saw what you saw... they both... kissed" Marumi and Shin were both awe-struck at what they had just seen.

Karumi giggled, "I think we have two spies Kotetsu, should we flush them out?" Karumi smiled at him and laughed.

"EY SHIN, MARUMI, YOU CAN COME OUT, WE KNOW YOU'RE THERE" Kotetsu laughed and saw them come out of the bushes.

"How did you know?" Shin laughed and grinned at her brother.

"Hehehe, just what i would expect from my little sister" Marumi patted Karumi on the head and smiled at Kotetsu and Karumi.

"Hehehe... snooping is bad sis" Karumi smiled and put her arm around Kotetsu's neck.

"So brother, when did you plan on telling me this?" Shin smiled and ruffled his brother's hair.

"Meh, when we got home I guess" Kotetsu yawned and sighed

"Well, we should be going home, don't you think?" Marumi yawned as it was getting late.

"Ok, bye Kotetsu, bye Shin" Karumi kissed Kotetsu in the cheek and walked off.

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This morning, Kotetsu and Shin decided to bring their weapons to school (they were allowed, why'd ya think that guy had the kunai???) Kotetsu used double blades and Shin used double elemental whips, Ice and Fire

Karumi and Marumi also decided to bring their weapons that day, Karumi brought her Angel Staff and Marumi brought her Demon Bow

Now, let's skip to recess:

"...and thats what happened" Karumi giggled, she was telling everyone what happened that day.

"Awwwww, how sweet" Both Shin and Marumi laughed and patted each other's sibling's back

After a while Karumi left and got bullied again by the same people as the day before.

"I told you to watch your back girly, now prepare to get hurt badly!!" The guy took out his knife and it got closer and closer to Karumi's arm

"AHHHHHH KOTETSU HELP!!!!!!" The girl closed her eyes and yelled as hard as she could... just as the knife was about to hit her...

"Heh... you'll never learn." Kotetsu hit the knife with his blade, holding it back, "Now, you tried to harm her eh? You'll pay for that!!" Kotetsu slashed the knife right off his hands and pushed the guy back.

"KOTETSU!!" Karumi smiled as a tear came out of her eyes "Thank you"

"No probl-" Kotetsu got punched dead-center in the face, knocking him back and into Karumi's feet.

"KOTETSU!!!" Karumi got infuriated and took out her staff, "YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!! SHINO, KE, MARO, KAGE, ARE, SHI!!" An orb of fire materialized in front of Karumi, "FIREBALL!!" When she said this, the ball flew straight at the jerk, knocking him down.

"Ugh... damm... he hit me... pretty hard..." Kotetsu was bleeding in the nose.

"Karo, Ge, Shem, Ma, Ten, Kora" A white light surrounds Karumi's hands and she puts 'em on Kotetsu's face. "Healing Light Spell!!"

"Gah... I feel better already, thanks alot Karumi" Kotetsu kissed her cheek and ran after the guy, who was standing up now, right the instant he turned back, his face met Kotetsu's punch, sending him back flying... then Kotetsu faints, that punch had energy in it and took out alot...

"My turn eh? Fine I'll fight too, no one hurts my sister" Marumi pulled out her bow and arrow, aiming straight at the jerk's ass, fires the arrow... and unluckily the guy turns around and it hits his... err... well, somewhere a guy wouldn't want to get hit... "Oh my god... I didn't mean to do that" Marumi sweatdropped and hid behind a tree outta embarrassment.

"MOTHERFU**ER, THAT HURT MORE THAN GETTING HIT 5 TIMES IN THE FACE!!!!!!!!!" The guy got up and took out his knife, and ran straight at the tree Marumi was behind... then a whip that came outta nowhere took the knife from his hand.

"Let's see you hurt anyone now jerk" Shin took the knife and threw it up, then with the flame whip, burned it down to bits. "Ok, time for a sweet can of whoop-ass" Shin started hitting the guy's back as hard as she could with the whip, then Kotetsu woke up and she stopped, "I'll leave the rest to you brother" Shin put away the whip and hid under a table.

"Heh... I got plenty knives bit**, don't you worry about that!!" The guy ran straight to Kotetsu, planning to stick the knife in his heart

"Humph, you're up for a surprise dude" Kotetsu grinned as he stood there. "Come and get me then"

"OH, GETTING COCKY EH?! WELL, WE'LL SEE WHO'S COCKY AFTER THIS!!!!" The guy ran straight, knife forward, then kept running faster and right when he was going to hit Kotetsu... HE DISSAPEARED!!

Kotetsu reappeared without his hat behind the guy and poked his back "Oi, look behind you" The guy turned around and gasped.

"Wait... you're... YOU'RE... KARANARA KOTETSU?!" The guy looked teriffied and kept starring at... A PAIR OF WOLF EARS SPROUTING FROM HIS HEAD?!

"Yeah, thats right, I'm from the Karanara Clan, the family of Half Wolves that got massacred, got a problem?" Kotetsu showed his fangs and with his fist, punched him as hard as possible right on the nose, "Thought so"

Shin smiled at his brother as she took off her own hat, also revealing a pair of wolf ears, "Well brother, everyone in school knows our secret now, what do you think?" The young girl grinned without a care that everyone knew they were Half-Wolves

Kotetsu saw the teriffied face Karumi had and walked over to her, "Karumi... I'm sorry I didn't tell you bef-"

"NO, STAY AWAY FROM ME!! YOU'RE NOT HUMAN!! GET AWAY!!" Karumi backed away, almost at the brink of tears and ran off.

"KARUMI WAIT!!... dammit... why was I born like this..." Kotetsu threw himself into the ground and started crying, "WHY DAMMIT?! I FINALLY FIND LOVE IN THIS WORLD AND MY DAMMED BLOOD HAVE TO TAKE THAT AWAY?!"

"Kotetsu... don't be so hard on yourself... she just felt un-trusted (is that even a word?!) that you didn't tell her that... maybe you should talk to her..." Marumi tried to comfort Kotetsu as best as she could

"Ok... I'll do that... thanks Marumi..." Kotetsu got up and walked around looking for Karumi

The whole school was silent at what they had just seen... they were left speechless... but not afraid... they knew that even being half-wolves, they were human too... A few minutes passed after Kotetsu was looking for her... Karumi saw him in front of her and felt guilty for what she said... she ran as fast as she could towards him and squeezed him tight from behind, she then fell into tears.

"I'M SORRY KOTETSU!! I'M SORRY FOR WHAT I SAID, I DIDN'T MEAN IT!!!" Karumi hugged him tight and more tears came out of her eyes

Kotetsu just stood there and... "Karumi... it's ok... I know you didn't mean that... you're too kind to say such harsh things..." Kotetsu turned around and hugged her tightly and comforted her

Karumi wiped the tears off her face and smiled at Kotetsu "Oh Kotetsu... I thought you'd never talk to me aga-" She was hushed once again by Kotetsu's finger on her soft lips

"Hush now... no need to say sorry..." Kotetsu smiled and started humming a song, hugging Karumi as tightly as he could... Marumi and Shin watched from behind a pillar and smiled at each other.

"I knew they couldn't stay mad at each other, right?" Shin smiled at Marumi and laughed

"Yeah, thats true-love in front of us" Marumi smiled back and kept watching the two teenagers.

~Itazura No Kiss starts playing in the background~
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Our chapter ends this time with Karumi and Kotetsu not separating even after knowing the secret of their family... Will being a half-wolf affect Kotetsu and Shin in school? Will that jerk's balls heal after that arrow hit him there? Meh... find out the first one but the second one you wont cuz it has no importance so meh.

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Chapter 5: Trouble in the forest!! Kotetsu's time to show his worth!!


A/N: The two people that I added wont get mentioned much, just to let you guys know.
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After the bell for recess rang everyone went to their classrooms... everyone except Kotetsu and Shin, they got sent to the principal's (ain't they all a-holes?) office.

"So Kotetsu, Shin, care to explain?" The principal was rumored to never give second chances, Shin was extremely nervous, but was calmed down when her brother put his hand on hers.

"Shin, calm down" Kotetsu smiled at his sister and faced the principal, "So, why are we here? Because of the fight? If so, we fought to protect Karumi. Is it because we're half-wolves? If so, we were BORN this way and nothing can change that, if you have a problem, expell us then, we don't care" Kotetsu looked at the man with a calm face

The man starred into Kotetsu's eyes, trying to make him flinch "...You can stay"

Shin and Kotetsu smiled at each other and gave themselves a huge hug, almost making them incapable of breathing "WOOHOO WE CAN STAY!!!" The two of them started yelling in excitement while the principal smiled at the two and sweatdropped.

"Is this the same Kotetsu that was talking to me a few seconds ago?" The principal thought to himself and decided to ignore it.

The rest of the day didn't have much importance, so we'll just skip all the way to the end of class.

"Hey brother, do you think that maybe someone other than us coulda survived the massacre?" Shin looked serious and really thought that maybe THEY survived.

"Maybe... but if they did, I doubt we'd find them..." Kotetsu frowned and sat down under a tree.

"Kotetsu..." Karumi sat next to him and tried to comfort him, "It's ok... try to forget that... whats in the past is in the past..."

Shin sighed and felt a hand behind her, she looked behind her and her eyes widened "No... no way... Ga... GABRIEL IS THAT YOU?!" Shin starred at the face of her big brother.

"You guessed right Shin, it's me Gabe, long time no see eh?" Gabe patted the girl on the head and smiled at her.

"KOTETSU COME HERE NOW!!! GUESS WHO THIS IS!!!" Shin was extremely exited and was jumping up and down.

"Coming" Kotetsu was going to stand up but froze for no reason "Wha... what the..."

"What, you're gonna see Gabe first and not me? Your bro Lyric?" Lyric smiled at his brother and dispelled the bind spell

"LYRIC!! BRO, LONG TIME NO SEE!!!" Kotetsu started jumping up and down in happiness that his two brothers had survived the massacre.

"So Kotetsu, Shin, how's life been for ya?" Both Gabe and Lyric were wondering how it was since they were gone.

"Well..." Kotetsu and Shin started explaining what had happened since that horrid massacre of their entire family.

"Well... good thing is, you survived all those years eh?" Gabe, being as care-free as he is, tried to cheer them up the best he could.

"Yeah, guess so" Shin smiled at his brother and decided to start going home now

"Well, see ya all later" Gabe and Lyric walked off to their house (please don't think the wrong way, sick perverts >.>) while Kotetsu and Shin walked off to theirs.

"Well Marumi, let's go home" Karumi started walking off to her house while Marumi decided to stay in school to study a bit more.

"Sigh... walking alone through the forest... it's so... creepy..." Karumi tried to walk as fast as she could to get home as fast as she could

Meanwhile, Kotetsu was training nearby.

"...Fire Style: Blazing Blades!" Kotetsu's double blade's set aflame, at this, he started swinging them at the trees

At Karumi's side:

"I'm really scared... I feel like something might happen... please... I want to get home so-" Karumi was cut off by a hand on her mouth

"Heh, gimme all your money and lower your skirt, we're gonna have a little fun now" A bandit was, well obviously, trying to rob and rape Karumi

"MFfff Mfff mffffff" Karumi couldn't speak and was trying to get her mouth free... after some struggling, she took off that guy's hand off her mouth "KOTETSU HEEEEEELP!!!!!!" Karumi yelled as hard as she could, hoping someone, hopefully Kotetsu would hear her.

In Kotetsu's side:

*Faintly* "Kotetsu Heeeeeelp!!!"

"Huh... was that... Oh no... KARUMI!!" Kotetsu knew that had to be her, the voice was unmistakable, he ran as fast as he could through the trees, trying to make himself not noticed

Karumi's side:

"Heh, it's no use girly, no one can hear you, now, DROP THE SKIRT OR I'LL MAKE YOU DROP IT!!" The bandit took out a short blade and put it on her neck

"N-no, I wo-wont let you!!" Karumi kept struggling to let go, at that Kotetsu reached the spot and looked from a tree unnoticed, waiting to see what he would do.

"Oh really? Let's see!!" The bandit took his knife and sliced the shirt open, and cut off the bra, revealing her breasts.

"HEEEELP, SOMEONE, ANYONE, HELP!!! KOTETSU PLEASE, HELP ME!!!" Karumi was yelling as hard as she could and was crying alot.

"OK, THAT DOES IT!!" Kotetsu threw his sword as hard as he could and slashed the bandit's arm off "************, DON'T YOU DARE HURT KARUMI!!!" Kotetsu jumped off the tree and ran as fast as he could towards the bandit, sword in hand "KARUMI, RUN!!"

Karumi set herself free and ran behind a tree, and at that instant, Kotetsu dropped his sword and went full feral, his nails turned to claws and grew 3 times their normal size, his fangs turned as sharp as a saw, and he ran at an incredible speed.

The bandit starred in terror as he saw the feral Kotetsu running straight at him, he got closer and closer and... bam, Kotetsu stuck his claws straight at his heart and pushed him straight into a tree, making the claws pass the bandit's whole body, killing him of course "THATS FOR TRYING TO HURT KARUMI!! ANYONE WHO DARES DO ANYTHING TO HER, I SWEAR THEY'LL GET WHAT THIS GUY GOT!!" At that, Kotetsu lost control over himself and started slashing at the trees in an uncontrollable frenzy

Karumi, without fear inside of her, ran straight at Kotetsu and threw herself at him, squeezing him as tight as she could "KOTETSU CALM DOWN, DON'T WORRY, I'M SAFE!! CALM DOWN, I DON'T LIKE SEEING YOU LIKE THIS!!" At that, a tear fell out of Karumi's eye and landed on Kotetsu and somehow, he calmed down

"Agh... my head... what... happened...?" Kotetsu didn't remember a thing of him going feral

"Oh... nothing Kotetsu... don't worry about it... you should rest is all..." Karumi hugged Kotetsu as tightly as she could, Kotetsu couldn't even breath

"Ugh... Ka-Karumi, I ca-can't breath" Kotetsu smiled at the girl... but still couldn't breath

"Oh... I'm sorry... is this any better?" Karumi hugged him less tightly and started crying a bit "Please don't go feral again... I don't want to see you lose control like that again... please..."

Kotetsu wiped the tears off her face "Don't cry... I'll try not to go feral again... I promise... now, I'll accompany you home, is that alright?" Kotetsu couldn't let her go home alone after what happened, he took off his shirt and gave it to Karumi "Put this on, you can't walk to your house like THAT" Kotetsu laughed and smiled at her

"Thanks" Karumi put on the shirt and walked with Kotetsu to her house, she grabbed his arm and put her head on his shoulder and started walking off to her house "Well... at last you'll get to meet my parents... are you nervous?" Karumi smiled at him, she could see he was nervous

"N-no I'm not" Kotetsu tried to hide the fact that he was infact nervous, but failed horribly

"Oh, don't hide it, I know you're nervous Kotetsu, but don't worry, my parents will accept you" Karumi rested her head on Kotetsu's shoulder and smiled "So stop shaking in your boots and let's go!!" Karumi grabbed Kotetsu's hand and started running towards the sunset (which by coincidence is the direction Karumi's house is)

"Woah!! Slow down girl!! I'm gonna trip!!" Kotetsu tried to run in synchrony with Karumi but was too nervous too and almost tripped a few times.

"Don't worry Kotetsu!! You don't need to worry about anything, I'll take care of things if trouble spews!!"

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And so, the chapter ends with Karumi and Kotetsu running towards Karumi's house, Will Karumi's parents accept Kotetsu? Will Kotetsu be able to control the feral beast inside of him? Find out soon...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Read it, Review it, Love it
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Last edited by Gaby; 04-06-2007 at 08:40 AM.
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  #3  
Old 04-18-2007, 01:25 PM
Shiny Loser's Avatar
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Default Re: Life's like a dream

1. Chapters should be in seperate posts. THere is no rule about double posting in the Fic section.

2. Make your chapters longer.

And that's all for today. It wasn't bad. In fact, good for a new writer. Keep going.
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Last edited by Shiny Loser; 04-19-2007 at 09:45 AM.
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  #4  
Old 04-18-2007, 10:37 PM
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Default Re: Life's like a dream

In addition to what Shiny Loser said, your description was good. Very good for a new writer, but that does not mean that there is no room for improvement. The actual physical description itself is fairly decent, but you need to describe your characters' emotions more. And it would also help if you use MS Word's thesarus to come up with spicy words to enhance and juice up your sentences. ^__^;

Another thing: There are a few spelling errors, as well as some grammar issues. Be sure to proofread your fic with a Spell/Grammar check before you actually post it.

And, like SL said, these are too short to be full-length chapters. A Prologue, perhaps, but even then it would be questionable. Just try describing more like I suggested and they should become a fair amount longer by themselves.

Nevertheless, I like this so far, and I look forward to seeing you improve. :)

`* Kayden
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Last edited by Kayden Javlaíakín; 04-18-2007 at 10:39 PM.
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