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  #16  
Old 04-12-2006, 05:21 AM
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Default Re: The Review Roundup w/Redlark

I should add - I hope I didn't lose anybody with my large rant on that last one.

I'm double posting, oh woe is me.
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  #17  
Old 04-12-2006, 07:48 PM
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Default Re: The Review Roundup w/Redlark

^ You just triple posted now. ^^;; You should edit you post for that post. The one above this.

I'll be sure to watch out for the grammer mistakes. Thanks for reviewing anyway.
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  #18  
Old 04-17-2006, 01:32 AM
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Oh ack! Sorry Saffire Persian, I've been busy with College/life/reality (no need to explain details, this ain't no live journal) But anyway - I should have your review up within the next few days. By the looks of your fic, I'm excited to read it.

But later, i've had too much energy drink and my mind isn't competant!!

Here's a "graph":

--> --> --> --> --> --> --> --> -->

I'll stop now, my smilies are only here to peev.

P.S. H.Blaze, Oops lol. I didn't realize that, my comp freaked when i posted that, and i wasn't sure if i was able to post that one, so i hit the button again. I'm too lazy to fix that, so yeah.
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  #19  
Old 04-17-2006, 04:19 AM
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Default Re: The Review Roundup w/Redlark

Quote:
Oh ack! Sorry Saffire Persian, I've been busy with College/life/reality (no need to explain details, this ain't no live journal) But anyway - I should have your review up within the next few days. By the looks of your fic, I'm excited to read it.

But later, i've had too much energy drink and my mind isn't competant!!
No problem at all! I don't mind waiting in the least, you give good reviews (and you do it quite fairly. I like your style). So it's definitely worth the wait.
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  #20  
Old 04-17-2006, 11:14 PM
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Default Re: The Review Roundup w/Redlark

I'll be posting another one of my stories if I work on the second chapter for it...

Fusion Fantasies
PG-13; Action/Adventure/Supernatural/Fantasy/Romance(?)
A girl who seeks revenge on Cipher. A boy cursed by the spirit of an unusual Mightyena. Cipher's back and when the path of these two cross, they'll do anything to stop Cipher. For themselves and the region of Zondia. Rated for violence and language.
Characters: Kana; Hiroto; and the mysterious Mightyena spirit.
Current Chapters:
Chapter 1: Night of Dreams and Rebirth
Next Chapter in Progress -

Chapter 2: Battle of the White Fox and the Red Wolf
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  #21  
Old 04-25-2006, 11:39 AM
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Default Re: The Review Roundup w/Redlark

Can you review my fan fic: Pokemon Journey: The Seven Stars

Thank you.

Last edited by GodsChild7; 04-27-2006 at 10:52 AM.
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  #22  
Old 05-02-2006, 03:17 AM
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I’m very sorry for replying so late. So much brown stuff has hit the fan personally. I guess it’s easy to say my excuse, “Life Happens,” but it does. If anybody wants a quick synopsis of my personal life, send me a PM.

Title:
The Ties that Bind

Review:
There’s very few things that strike emotion when I read. I could almost rank “The Ties that Bind” with Steinbeck or Camus. The Psychological girth throughout this story is phenomenal compared to almost any other Pokemon story I’ve read. Sadness, emotion, etc. was well written.

I’m being vague, but I don’t want to give any spoilers to this story away. It’s just that good. It’s also one of those stories that a reader has to read all the way through, non-stop. Eitherway, you probably wont find yourself wanting to stop.

Description in the fight against the champion was well thought, the use of second person throughout the story was impressive, and character development was deep.

The main character is written out to be the reader. In some cases this could be a problem during writing; because if one moment doesn’t connect with the reader emotionally or mentally; if anything seems to disconnect the reader from the story--the strength of the work is in jeopardy of being greatly diminished. In, “The Ties that Bind,” this didn’t happen. I was impressed.

The emotion wasn’t overdone to be cheap, super-romantic, or sappy (some may say “goth” or “emo”). Though the ending flashback memories seemed to draw out a bit, and the ending also seemed to be borderline cheese. *(Tech Note #1)

It’s hard to find faults in this story, because it barely has any. Any grammar crap that anybody could find was non-existent.

If anything to anybody that is reading this review and wants to read some well written FanFiction, that speaks to the heart about one of the hardest experiences that EVERYBODY experiences (Let it be Friends, Family, or Self). I tell you to read, “The Ties that Bind.”

Rating: 9.1
Awesome Fiction SP, keep up the stories. I want to read more of your material. This is possibly one of my favorite FanFics.

Technical Notes SP:
Again, I’ll note the usage of second person was very well done. Second person tends to be a little rough to plan out, and sometimes rougher to write. Like I said, when you write in second person, you have to connect to the reader. I’m sure you already know this, though, so I’m rambling nonsense if go on any further.

Description was precise and to the point. Everything in this story structurally was potent.

Keep up the writing, and don’t let my praise go to your head. The last thing I want to see is a good writer go bust because of a big head. I love your writing, though. I really really want to see more of your material.

1. The ending seemed a little bit overdone in some ways. I think it had to do with explaining every single “moment” of the Charizard’s life. It’s like beating the horse when the race had already been won. You’ve already met the purpose of your writing and you’ve already established the resolution for accepting the loss. But then again; messing around with the ending might be a dumb idea, because the ending sentences ties everything up well.

Good job! Now all you got to do is write more, so you practice the art.

Last edited by Redlark; 07-10-2007 at 03:20 PM. Reason: Come to think of it. It's a 9.1 not 9
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  #23  
Old 05-22-2006, 08:22 PM
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Default Re: The Review Roundup w/Redlark

Hi Redlark, I have been debating getting a reveiw from you for some time now, are you still doing them? (I know how college finals can be, I just finished mine)
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  #24  
Old 05-24-2006, 05:27 AM
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Default Re: The Review Roundup w/Redlark

Oh man, yeah I'm still doing them. I've only got one (perhaps two) on my to-do list, but I've been really busy lately and havent even had time to do a lot of writing. A lot of work, stuff, personal, etc. If only I could explain my situation, but in the words of a wise man, "I know you don't want to hear that ****, I'm saving that for livejournal "

But yeah, I'd love to do a review for you. I enjoy reading other people's works, good and bad. I think I needed some time off from reviewing though. I seem to have gotten too "happy-go-lucky/butt-kissing" about them. So yeah -- I'd love to read your work and review it. That's of course after "Seven Stars," then I think Hikari Blaze wanted me to look at Fusion Fantasies, not sure. Just link it.

Sorry for the redunancy in that last paragraph, haha. It's obvious I haven't written for a while, (*sigh*).

Eitherway--ciao!
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  #25  
Old 05-24-2006, 04:15 PM
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Default Re: The Review Roundup w/Redlark

Well, at least you are balanced, a true good reveiw talks about the good and the bad. Most reveiwers online just focus on the bad which gets a bit old I think, most of all if they are not writers themselfs...
Oh, and not to have you take pity on me or anything but I have a learning disablity so anytime I may ask you to reveiw me know that my sometimes many mistakes I may not catch are not bugs from me being lazy .

Ah, you have a LJ under the same name?
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  #26  
Old 05-25-2006, 04:30 AM
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Default Re: The Review Roundup w/Redlark

Ohh, I so forgot to say thank you for reviewing my story. ^^ I'm glad you like it. I tried to make it so the memories weren't cheesy, and luckily most people actually liked that part... but meh, I hate when anything has the chance of sounding cheesy. ^^ Perhaps I'll revamp it a bit in the future.

As I said before, thanks very much!
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  #27  
Old 05-27-2006, 10:27 PM
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Default Re: The Review Roundup w/Redlark

No, I don't have a LJ, but I can sure as heck act like I do if you want me to.

And you're welcome SPersian.

I should have two reviews up this week (I promise my Wendy's oath on that) and MAYBE the next chapter to And as the Wind Blows soon. If all goes as planned, lol.
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  #28  
Old 05-28-2006, 01:09 AM
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Default Re: The Review Roundup w/Redlark

Now and Forever

Chapter Three and up that is posted (3 and 4 so far, maybe another one by the time you review it)

Anyway, looking forward to the review.

By the way, I'm writing a story called Redlark's Song which is sort of based off of your name or something like that. Or that's what I though of for a title when I started writing it...
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  #29  
Old 06-02-2006, 09:55 AM
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Sorry for the extreme lateness on this review. Redlark's Review Corner is back in business.

Pre.P.S. If this review seems a bit negative, it's probably because I expected a bit more. I'm not sure. Sue me if you don't likey.

Title:
Pokemon Journey: The Seven Stars

Review:
This is a journey fic. And what it seems like, the author has lost steam/motivation and has given up. This happens with a lot of journey fics, because they usually lack the distinct beginning, middle, and ending of dramatic structure that makes a story pump along.

I sort of liked story though. By the end of the second chapter, I kind of wanted to read more, but was saddened that the last post was more than a month ago… (*sigh*). Oh well… I see this alot, and I'm sorry for being hypocritical with my own work (trust me, I'm just taking a breather).

For some reason or the other, this story didn't grab my attention like the others I've read. Description was good, but conflict was cliche. I honestly have no idea why I couldn't get myself into reading to the end of each chapter. It probably had something to do with dry description and not enough character action.

The story is about a boy named Ryan who we first see traveling through the Viridian Forest. With a close encounter with the local Beedrill swarms, we are introduced to his primary Pokemon, Poliwhirl. Later, we learn it’s a “pass-me-down” from probably his family. I'm surprised I didn't see this coming.

Grammar was shaky. Issues were in small typos and numerous run-on sentences. This probably means, the author has a lot of material he/she wants to say, and is typing too fast for his own good. A common mistake for an aspiring writer. There were also more fragments than this review.

Since this is a journey fic, plot is a little bit unoriginal; but after reading the author’s “spoiler,” I’m interested in where this story was going to go.

For those reading this review, please give more positive feedback to the author. Because one thing that makes me really sad is an author who gives up on a project and/or never starts a different project. Yes, that includes myself.

But to be honest; it was kind of hard for me to say how I felt about this story. I found myself feeling very little about it. Which is why this review is so short.

Rating: 5.5
Meh. There's definately a lot of potential, but there needs to be more fine tuning in style and plot.

Last edited by Redlark; 06-02-2006 at 09:58 AM.
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  #30  
Old 06-02-2006, 10:00 AM
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Default Re: The Review Roundup w/Redlark

Quote:
By the way, I'm writing a story called Redlark's Song which is sort of based off of your name or something like that. Or that's what I though of for a title when I started writing it...
Lol! I'm flattered.
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