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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 02-11-2007, 07:43 PM
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Default The Road of No Return

o(°-°)o I'll get a banner... someday...

My PMD character, Hoshika the Pikachu, makes a return to the Pokémon world-- only this time, it's not PMD-based. Please comment and rate or whatever, but please don't quote chapters. Thank you!

Chapter Index
·Prologue
·Chapter 1 - Friends
·Chapter 2 - The Fire Ribbon
·Chapter 3 - A Mirror of Hoshika
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Spoiler:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ridley View Post
I suffer from some desease where I just don't feel like catching a pokemon unless it's rare, which ends in me never catching com mons.

I finished Gold with a pokedex of 6.

Oak's Rating: "Congratulations! Looks like you've learned how to use a pokeball!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charbok View Post

Haagen-Daz is an ice cream company, dumbass.


Last edited by Hoshika; 03-15-2007 at 10:01 PM.
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  #2  
Old 02-11-2007, 07:44 PM
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Default Re: The Road of No Return

~Prologue~

It used to be peaceful, after the many battles and disasters that struck upon the land. We rebuilt over the past few months, and rather quickly. Every structure—down to the last brick—was completely fixed. It was our golden era, our time of miracles. It was a great relief, especially after my parents never returned from rescuing some other Pokémon.

From then, I lived in Safaia City, a town bordering the shoreline. Many other Pokémon lived here, and we had the latest technology. The faraway seas sparkled a shade of cobalt blue, all of the berries ready for picking every two days. Friends gathered around and talked, while sparring partners fought in the changing fields—one day it would be grassy, the next day a wetland. Nature and advancements seemed to be in balance; there was barely any pollution and rarely any natural disasters. This place was like heaven again.

It was only that one night…

“Hoshika…,” said an unknown voice. It brought chills running up to my ears when it spoke. I looked around, seeing only darkness before me. Not even my hand was visible in front of my face.

“Who is there?” I answered to the voice. “Where am I?”

“Hoshika… doom shall fall upon you…,” whispered the eerie apparition.

“Doom? What is that supposed to mean?” Without any time to answer, a light flashed, and soon faded…

…revealing a wasteland that once seemed to be our land. Burned trees were scattered about the land. Dust and volcanic ash were abundant; the area smelled strongly of seawater—a tsunami.

“This is your fate, along with the others’… save them, and flee this wretched place….”

“WHAT?! This can’t be!! How do you know this is what will happen?!”

“Find a land of safety… they’re coming….”

“Who? WHO’S COMING?!” The landscape darkened, as if a solar eclipse took place. Soon, nothing seemed to be there. I was in darkness again.
__________________
Spoiler:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ridley View Post
I suffer from some desease where I just don't feel like catching a pokemon unless it's rare, which ends in me never catching com mons.

I finished Gold with a pokedex of 6.

Oak's Rating: "Congratulations! Looks like you've learned how to use a pokeball!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charbok View Post

Haagen-Daz is an ice cream company, dumbass.


Last edited by Hoshika; 02-11-2007 at 08:10 PM.
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  #3  
Old 02-11-2007, 08:09 PM
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Default Re: The Road of No Return

~Chapter One – Friends~

“Pikachuu! Pikachuu! Wake up!” I opened my eyes, tiredly. It was a sunny morning; light peered through the windows and doorway. A Pichu was staring right into my face, curiously. “It’s late morning! Achamo and Mizugorou wants to meet us out in the square right NOW!” he chattered. I blinked a couple of times to wake myself up, and saw it was young little Kaminari talking to me.

“Ugh… quit using last names,” Hoshika sighed. “And alright, ‘Pichuu,’ I’ll get up.”

“Remember our plans—er, Hoshika?”

“Yup. Don’t worry about anything, Kaminari.”

“Okay, see you later!” The Pichu bounded off.


Hoshika got to her feet, washed her face in the little pond outside her house, picked an Oran berry from the nearby berry tree for breakfast, and lastly, grabbed her gold bandana and tied it around her head.

Time for some fun, Hoshika thought as she walked to town square. Pelliper were flying to the mailboxes of the citizens, Bulbasaur, Chikorita, and Treecko were playing jump rope with their vines, and Cyndaquil and Charmander were chatting, saying their flame is hotter than the other’s. As she reached closer to the square, she saw Aipom doing his usual acrobatics act on the street; a couple of people watched him.

“Watch this aerial back flip—oh, hey, Hoshika!” he greeted in the middle of his routine. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, really,” She replied. “Chiki and Nami are going to meet me in the town square.”

“Oh, tell me if Nami goes klutz-y again. I want to hear about his latest stunts!”

“Now, they aren’t STUNTS,” Hoshika corrected Aipom. “He just likes taking risks, that’s all. And it’s no big news. Besides, it’s a secret.”

“Oh, okay!” he said. “I won’t mind. But just tell Chiki and Nami that I said ‘Hi!’”

“Alright, bye!”

“See ya, Hoshika!” She continued my walk down to the heart of Safaia City. There’s standing along the path, was Gusty the Wingull, hopping around selling newspapers.

“Read all about it! PokéBlock Corporations releases new movie; critics say it’s sure to be a hit!” Gusty turned and looked at Hoshika. He waved his wing and smiled, then went back to work. She waved back, then looked around for Chiki and Nami. Standing near a glassy building was a Mudkip and Torchic, wearing blue and red bandanas, with a flaming Poké Ball resembling a shooting star. They seemed to be looking for someone.

“Nami! Chiki!” yelled out Hoshika to the pair. They turned to look at her, wondering who called them, until it hit them.

“There she is!” whispered Nami. He giggled a little, then waited as Hoshika walked up to them.

She took a breath, then said, “Good morn—PLEH!!” She wiped off a muddy substance from her face, interrupted.

“I know how to use Mud Sport. Heh heh heh,” laughed Nami. “Good morning to you, too, Hoshika!”

“NAMI!!” yelled the Torchic. “I told you not to do that to her! (But it’s not like you listen anyway.)”

“Aw, come on,” he sighed. “She’s fine! Right?”

“Yeah,” replied Hoshika. “I’m already used to your pranks. Congrats, though, on learning Mud Sport. Anyway, are we going now? I want to see what you’ve found.”

“Haha,” said Chiki. “It’s not really OUR discovery. This Pi—”

“SHH!!” interrupted Nami. He leaned over to whisper to Chiki. “Don’t tell her about him!”

“Oh, fine,” muttered Chiki. “First, I have to pick something up from storage. Can you wait here for a sec?”

Nami and Hoshika nodded as Chiki hopped off to Kangaskan Storage.

“So,” Hoshika said to Nami, “What did Chiki say before?”

“What thing Chiki said before?” answered Nami.

“Well, she said you didn’t dis—”

“NO!! THERE WAS NOTHING ABOUT HIM!!! NO! NOTHING!!!”

“Erm….”

“Heh. Sorry, I, er, was working on this line in a movie! Aye, just don’t mind me if I try making impressions. PokéBlock Corporations IS looking for some more stars!” Nami winked at Hoshika.

“Haha. Nami, you’re always being funny, aren’t you? But something’s different about you. Are you and Chiki hiding something…?” I said to him, suspiciously.

“No no no, of course not! What are you thinking?!”


***
__________________
Spoiler:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ridley View Post
I suffer from some desease where I just don't feel like catching a pokemon unless it's rare, which ends in me never catching com mons.

I finished Gold with a pokedex of 6.

Oak's Rating: "Congratulations! Looks like you've learned how to use a pokeball!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charbok View Post

Haagen-Daz is an ice cream company, dumbass.


Last edited by Hoshika; 02-15-2007 at 02:18 AM.
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  #4  
Old 02-14-2007, 10:10 PM
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Default Re: The Road of No Return

It does look good, Hoshika. Just one thing I noticed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoshika
“Read all about it! PokéBlock Corporations releases new movie; critics say it’s sure to be a hit!” Gusty turned and looked at me. He waved his wing and smiled, then went back to work. She waved back, then looked around for Chiki and Nami. Standing near a glassy building was a Mudkip and Torchic, wearing blue and red bandanas, with a flaming Poké Ball resembling a shooting star. They seemed to be looking for someone.
You accidentally converted back to 1st person. No biggie! ^^

It's a little different how you change back and forth between points of view, but I like it. Good job!
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  #5  
Old 02-14-2007, 10:34 PM
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Default Re: The Road of No Return

Hehe. How you switched POVs reminded me--briefly--of my own fanfiction.

Anyway, Hoshika, I liked it. It could always use more description to perhaps lengthen it up a bit. The prologue grabbed my attention, and even though the story is just starting out I can't wait to see what happens. I'll give you lengthier comments as the plot unfolds.
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  #6  
Old 02-15-2007, 02:18 AM
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Default Re: The Road of No Return

Quote:
Originally Posted by Draconic_Espeon View Post
It does look good, Hoshika. Just one thing I noticed.



You accidentally converted back to 1st person. No biggie! ^^

It's a little different how you change back and forth between points of view, but I like it. Good job!
Oh, forgot to replace it. =P
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Spoiler:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ridley View Post
I suffer from some desease where I just don't feel like catching a pokemon unless it's rare, which ends in me never catching com mons.

I finished Gold with a pokedex of 6.

Oak's Rating: "Congratulations! Looks like you've learned how to use a pokeball!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charbok View Post

Haagen-Daz is an ice cream company, dumbass.

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  #7  
Old 02-18-2007, 03:19 PM
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Default Re: The Road of No Return

~Chapter 2 - The Fire Ribbon~

Chiki quickly approached the Kangaskan storage center, only around the block from where the other two were waiting. “Aunt Kangaskan? Aunt Kangaskan? I have to get something real quick!!” she said, frantically. She tapped her foot repeatedly, waiting for the owner to appear. Come on…, she thought.

“Chiki? Is that you up front?” called a mature, country-mother-like voice. “I’m already looking for what you need.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! I’m really in a hurry right now. Hoshika and Nami might be heading out any second!”

“Don’t worry,” answered the voice. A Kangaskan approached. “I already have it, and I’m sure Hoshika can manage Nami on her own for these few minutes.”

Meanwhile, with Hoshika and Nami…

“NAMI! Stop!!”

“Lalalalalalalalalalalalala! MY SONG! LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”

“AGH!!!”


Aunt Kangaskan came closer to the lemon yellow counter, and then rang the bell. “Here you go, Chiki, but what can you possibly use this useless ribbon for?” she asked, passing a silky scarf around Chiki’s head feathers.

“Achamo-kages have their secrets,” Chiki said, sneakily. “Okay, I’ll have to go now. Bye, Auntie Kangaskan!” Chiki skipped on the periwinkle-ish pavement, turning the corner of the block. The crowds had disappeared; it was now noon—lunch time! Leaning on the side of a tall, shiny building was Hoshika, looking annoyed and glaring at Nami. Nami was sitting on the side, staring blankly into space.

“I’m not gonna ask,” sighed Chiki. “Anyway, I got what I needed!”

“Mmm?” grumbled the Mudkip. “What’s that thing?” He got up and took the ribbon off of Chiki and observed it. “It just looks like an ordinary scarf….”

“What scarf?” mumbled Hoshika. “Are you annoying Chiki again?”

“No no no, just come and look! There’s a cool thing I can do to this, and you really should see. Hoshika, Nami, come with me out north of Safaia City. I’ll show you the magic of the Fire Ribbon!” cheered Chiki.

“Wait wait WAIT!” buzzed Nami. “Why’s it called ‘Fire Ribbon’? I see no fire in it. Watcha gonna do with it? Where’d ya geddit?! Huh? HUH?!”

“Ugh, calm down, Nami!” Hoshika lightly slapped him with her tail. “Maybe you can tell us where you got it, and how and stuff?”

“But that’s what I was about to—!”

“Aw, just listen, Nami,” shushed the Pikachu, annoyed.

“Anyway, when I returned back to Bashamo-kage and the rest of the Torchic and Combusken and Blaziken…”

I told of my adventures with the Pikachu and Mudkip, of our first meeting, of our heroics, and of our amazing rescues. I told the many Pokémon of how my group was devastated long ago by the massive destruction that rocked the entire land, and of the break-up of the last Rescue Team; the greatest one, too. I went on, looking around in the scorched field, to tell of how all of the Pokémon had come to a new age now.

“And they’re still my friends,” I spoke softly, starting to sob. “Even if I don’t see them anymore… they’re still my friends… and nothing can ever change that. Nothing.”

“Chiki Achamo! Not even your family can stop you from going away now!” A mighty Blaziken stood up out of the crowd, and walked up to the ruby-colored rock I was perched on. “I can see how much your friends must mean to you. We can all see that!”

The crowd cheered and chirped. “Yeah!”

“We won’t hold you back. Just… come with me.” I obeyed the Blaziken and followed him to a giant cave, sparkling with red gems.

“Where are we going, Bashamo-kage?” I asked. “Why are you taking me to this cave in the sacred field?”

“Chiki Achamo,” said Bashamo-kage, quietly. “You’re going to become a kage. Your spirit burns like mine; proud, strong, and sassily.”

“Hey!”

“Heh heh, I’m only kidding!” They continued to walk down the shining tunnel. Heat started to rise inside, but I didn’t mind.


“It was like a great wave of freshness,” boasted Chiki. “It made me feel like good things were going to happen. It made me feel brand-new! It’s like… standing by the ocean, or atop a great mountain, looking out to the foreign lands; out to the world!”

Bashamo-kage closed his eyes and breathed deeply. I followed his actions as he took a breath to say something.

“The flame of Chiki Achamo burns brightly.”

A portal appeared on the left side of the cavern tunnel as the Blaziken opened his eyes again. My feathers started glowing blue and turned glassy, like the morning sky.

“Chiki, before you leave us for now,” whispered Bashamo-kage, “take this gift.” He showed a silky, reddish ribbon to me and wrapped it around my head. It felt soft on my head, and made me feel like there was a great flame growing inside me.

“What is this?” I asked.

“It is the Fire Ribbon,” he answered. “It is a magical scarf given to us by the great rainbow phoenix Pokémon, Ho-oh. A blow of a kage’s flame will activate it.”

“But I am not a kage,” I told him, my feathers shining like a sunset. “It is a useless gift to me… I cannot accept it.”

“Ah, that is where you are wrong. You see how your feathers are glowing? That is the blessing given to a new kage.”

“But my spirit is still tainted,” I sighed, ashamed. “I wasn’t meant to be a kage.”

“Stop humbling yourself! Ever since you hatched, I saw it in your eyes. It is your destiny. You shouldn’t say your spirit has gone rotten, either; look at all the lives you’ve saved over the years!”

“I am still too young for this great blessing and responsibility.”

“But now is your time. Now, go and find your friends. We’ll see you again, when the time comes.” He pushed me closer to the portal. The hole started to tug at my feathers like a vacuum.
“I guess I should go,” I responded. “Goodbye… dad.” I hopped off into the wormhole, and it closed before me. I could still hear his words to me when I was about to leave…

“Goodbye… my hatchling….”

***
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Spoiler:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ridley View Post
I suffer from some desease where I just don't feel like catching a pokemon unless it's rare, which ends in me never catching com mons.

I finished Gold with a pokedex of 6.

Oak's Rating: "Congratulations! Looks like you've learned how to use a pokeball!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charbok View Post

Haagen-Daz is an ice cream company, dumbass.

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  #8  
Old 02-19-2007, 11:06 PM
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~Chapter 3 – A Mirror of Hoshika~
After listening to Chiki’s story, I felt so sad inside. It was like a lump was in my throat and then someone slapped me in the back of the head, and then I would say, “OI! Watcha do that for?!” Anyway, Hoshika looked like she was affected by Chiki’s story. Leaving her father… I can’t imagine. At least she has a little piece of him she can hold with her—that fiery red silk scarf.

“Your father…,” Hoshika sighed, “Must have really cared for you.”

“Yeah… well, we should get going. I’m going to show you the magic of the Fire Ribbon!” cheered Chiki, trying to uplift her spirits.

“Oi!” said Nami. “Let’s go!” The gang took off in a sprint; off north. Chiki led the rest of them.

“Where are you taking us, any—?”

“HEY!” screamed a little voice, interrupting Hoshika. A Pichu with a golden bandana tied around his ear dashed up to Hoshika by using Quick Attack. “Wait for me!” Forgetting to stop, the Pichu ran into Hoshika.

“KAMINARI?!” yelled Hoshika, a little softly. “Geez, Kaminari, be a little more careful!” She fixed the fur that got ruffled in the impact and straightened herself.

“Can I tag along? Please?” he begged.

“Alright, alright,” she sighed. “Just don’t Quick Attack me again. You’re getting pretty strong now.” Kaminari nodded, ashamed, then bounded off to catch up with Chiki.

Rustle rustle.

“Hmm? Did you say something, Nami?” Hoshika turned to the Mudkip in her group.

“Eh? No,” he dully responded. “Aye, Hoshika, I’ll go catch up with Chiki and Kaminari. Hurry up if you want to see the surprise!”

“Alright,” Hoshika said in affirmative as she watched Nami run off to the Pichu and Torchic.

Rustle.

I heard something move in a nearby bush.

Rustle rustle.

Five daisy petals floated into the air, like clouds drifting in the sky. “Hmm,” hummed a voice.

Who is there? I thought, deciding to approach the sound. I concentrated my senses to the hedge, thinking of nothing except the thing in there.

“Hoshika”, whispered another voice, so quiet that barely anybody could hear it. I sensed the being hiding in the bush. It was about to get up.

I won’t take any assassins trying to kill us, I thought. How do you know my name, anyway? I whispered mentally to myself, pretending to be talking to the creature. A light wave of energy emerged from the being, like a wave of surprise. I won’t let you get away! I thought, annoyed. As the thing was about to take off in a haphazard dash, I unleashed a Quick Attack at the target. I closed my eyes.

“Hiyaaaaah!” I roared, flying through the bushes. I thought that my assassin was about to get away, but I crashed into it. The thing felt soft next to me… it almost felt like it was me! I opened my eyes to look at what was watching me.

What I saw was a Pikachu.


“Mmm… what…?” moaned the Pikachu Hoshika had crashed into. “Ow….”

Both of them were lying in the pile of leaves and branches, unable to move. Uck, thought Hoshika. Can’t move… it’s the Static! Great. What am I supposed to do now?

I can’t get up, thought the other Pikachu. “Thanks… a lot… you got me paralyzed…!” he panted, trying to move.

“Not… my… fault. Y-you were watching… me… oww… my back really hurts.” she whispered back.

“Maybe it’s because you’re schlumped on my foot!”

“It was for my own defense, stalker! Ow.”

“Sheeze, you didn’t need to come head on and attack me. You could have ran away. Besides, I’m not a stalker.”

“Whatever. Just don’t… I don’t know. Let’s just not cross paths again.”

“Deal.” Hoshika and the other Pikachu struggled to get up, turned away from each other, and slowly limped away.
***
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Spoiler:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ridley View Post
I suffer from some desease where I just don't feel like catching a pokemon unless it's rare, which ends in me never catching com mons.

I finished Gold with a pokedex of 6.

Oak's Rating: "Congratulations! Looks like you've learned how to use a pokeball!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charbok View Post

Haagen-Daz is an ice cream company, dumbass.


Last edited by Hoshika; 03-03-2007 at 12:55 AM.
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  #9  
Old 02-25-2007, 08:08 PM
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Default Re: The Road of No Return

This is a pretty good story so far. You tend to switch from third to first person a bit, but it's getting better. I'll try to stick with this.
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  #10  
Old 02-25-2007, 08:10 PM
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Default Re: The Road of No Return

Quote:
Originally Posted by Suicune's Child View Post
This is a pretty good story so far. You tend to switch from third to first person a bit, but it's getting better. I'll try to stick with this.
I'm doing the switching on purpose. The rest of the recent chapter is going to go up soon.

Third person is in normal font.
Thoughts are in italics.
First person is in italics.
Thoughts in first person mode are in normal font.
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Spoiler:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ridley View Post
I suffer from some desease where I just don't feel like catching a pokemon unless it's rare, which ends in me never catching com mons.

I finished Gold with a pokedex of 6.

Oak's Rating: "Congratulations! Looks like you've learned how to use a pokeball!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charbok View Post

Haagen-Daz is an ice cream company, dumbass.

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  #11  
Old 02-28-2007, 11:50 PM
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Default Re: The Road of No Return

The shifting between person's makes it kinda hard to follow, but it still looks good. Keep at it! And don't say people aren't reading! 'Cause they are!
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Old 03-03-2007, 12:56 AM
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Default Re: The Road of No Return

Quote:
Originally Posted by Draconic_Espeon View Post
The shifting between person's makes it kinda hard to follow, but it still looks good. Keep at it! And don't say people aren't reading! 'Cause they are!
I made it that way. =|

Chapter 3 is now fully up! Take a look, please, even if the remainder of the chapter is just dialogue!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ridley View Post
I suffer from some desease where I just don't feel like catching a pokemon unless it's rare, which ends in me never catching com mons.

I finished Gold with a pokedex of 6.

Oak's Rating: "Congratulations! Looks like you've learned how to use a pokeball!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charbok View Post

Haagen-Daz is an ice cream company, dumbass.

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  #13  
Old 03-03-2007, 02:06 AM
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Talking Re: The Road of No Return

I like this story. It's one of my faves if not my fav.
Keep up the good work Hoshika.
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Old 03-15-2007, 10:22 PM
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Default Re: The Road of No Return

Preview on the next chapter. Sorry for the inactiveness, I was typing up the other chapters. X_x (Not going in the index)
-----
~Chapter 4 – Ring of Fire, Land of Lava!~ (Preview)

Thumpthumpthumpthump.

Hoshika’s feet tapped along the solid dirt path. “Chikiiiii! Namiiiiii! Wait!” she yelled. “Kami! Where are you?! Kamiiii! Chikiii!! WHERE’D YOU GO… ANYBODY THERE?! NAMIIII!!!” The trees in the forest started to decrease in number as she Quick Attacked along the trodden path. The road started turning darker, covered with a light coat of ash.

Nobody answered…

“Chikiiiiiiii…!!” Hoshika yelled into the wilderness. She has conquered many mazes, puzzles, and traps in the endless dungeons, but never has she done it alone. Kaminari…,” Hoshika panted.

I thought nobody was there…

“Anybody…,” Hoshika faintly whispered.

Until I saw it…

She stopped at a screeching halt, almost tipping and rolling over.

A beautiful sight…

When she got up, Hoshika could not believe what stood before her eyes.

But at the same time…

She gasped, observing the landscape.

It screamed danger…

And death…
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Spoiler:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ridley View Post
I suffer from some desease where I just don't feel like catching a pokemon unless it's rare, which ends in me never catching com mons.

I finished Gold with a pokedex of 6.

Oak's Rating: "Congratulations! Looks like you've learned how to use a pokeball!"
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Originally Posted by Charbok View Post

Haagen-Daz is an ice cream company, dumbass.

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  #15  
Old 03-15-2007, 11:47 PM
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Chewy Offline
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Default Re: The Road of No Return

Awesome preview! I can't wait to see the next chapter. It is a bit confusing, though, when you switch between POVs. I think I;m starting to get used to it. It's an interesting way, the way you switch POVs. I think you could use some more description, though.
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