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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 10-06-2008, 10:31 PM
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Post Tainted Life (Mods please lock!)

Tainted Life (TL)

A PG-13 fiction.

I'm sorry I can't say anything but I've got limited time and no internet other than a little right now.

Last edited by Guard13007; 01-16-2009 at 04:44 AM.
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  #2  
Old 10-06-2008, 10:37 PM
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Post Re: Tainted Life

Tainted Life

Chapter 1: The Accident

It was a dark and windy night when it happened. Even with the full moon and the yellow street lamps doting the street, there were shadows everywhere and it was impossible to see. And the small gusts of wind kept blowing my long, bright blonde hair into my cold, dark blue eyes making it even harder to see down the small, two-lane street.

I was walking home from Victorville's medium-sized mall complex. I had a sudden feeling like something was watching me, I started looking around myself although it was futile with how dark it was.

The last thing I remember seeing after that were two large, blunt, and yellowed teeth rushing at my face; I felt massive pain...

***

I woke up staring at a bright white light on an equally white ceiling. I was lying on a soft mattress with a blanket rolled up neatly at the foot of the bed, both as white and sterile as everything else. There was a rail on each side of the bed with some buttons on them for adjusting the bed, two wires with small, white pads at the end of them were attached to my almost bare chest and connected to a machine with a screen showing my heart-rate. I didn't know much about it, but it seemed to me that the rate was a little fast.

Also there were two IV drips attached to my left arm, one had what could only be blood, the other was something clear. There was a small counter and some cabinets next to me on the left, the right side had a sky-blue curtain that was pulled most of the way around the bed, separated me from whatever else was in the room. White tile flooring and barren, same white walls confirmed my belief that I was in a hospital. Dang it, I’m in a hospital, I thought.

I looked back down at myself, bracing for whatever had happened to me, there were all shapes and sizes of crimson-colored gauze pads and bandages, all soaked with blood, my blood. Oh c***, what happened to me? I thought, trying to remember what had happened...

***

"Wha-" my cry of surprise was cut off sharply as the yellow fangs ripped the flesh of my face, and a new cry of pain came out of me.

I shoved as hard as I could out against the creature in a vain attempt to save myself, helpless as it ruthlessly bit and scratched me with it's long, curved, and serrated claws. Again and again, ripping out assorted veins and muscles in my arms, legs, and chest in attacked; I looked down at myself, the carnage of what was left of my body.

My clothes and body were shreds within mere seconds, “Why me?” I moaned before passing out. It's purple eyes were the last thing I saw, I will never forget those purple eyes...


***

The memory brought little pain and I was surprised, shouldn't this hurt more? Why doesn't it hurt at all? Then the fuzziness in my head cleared somewhat, they must have me on morphine or something even stronger. I realized, how long have I been here? What happened? The thoughts scared me…

A woman with short red hair and very dark brown eyes walked in, she had a white cap and a nurse's hospital gown, she had a large bundle of what looked like more gauze pads and bandages, she must be replacing these. I thought, glancing back down at the pads on me.

She seemed very startled, “What? You're awake already? They must not have given you the sedative or you would still be out for another day. How are you feeling?” She picked up a small, white clipboard and looked at it. She muttered to herself very quietly, “They gave him enough sedatives to put out an adult for three days…”

What? Shouldn't be awake? Enough sedatives for three days, for an adult? Am I that bad off? The thoughts scared me badly, and I was barely able to stop my voice from shaking. “I'm hungry and tired; okay?” I had said it bluntly, because to me it was morning because I had just woke up, and I wasn't a morning person.

“No pain?” she asked, seeming a little annoyed with me.

“None. Can I get something to eat?”

“Not right now, I have to change your bandages. After that, we need to check to see if you’re healthy enough-” I cut her off.

“But I'm fine.” I said rudely.

“We'll have to check you though, you were very badly hurt.” she seemed very annoyed at me now, probably because of how I ruined her day, I thought darkly.

“Fine.” I said, then I remembered what I wanted to ask, “How long have I been here?”

“Two days.” she came up right next to the bed, “I'm going to give you a shot of painkiller, okay?” She brought the needle down to my arm.

“Yeah, of course.” I muttered. I had a sudden rush of irrational, animal fear. What the heck? Then the needle went in, a tiny pinch of pain and then nothing. I could feel myself numbing, but I found I could still move a bit.

She peeled of a particularly large bandage running down my left arm, there was a large scar running from my elbow down to my wrist and a few scabs and bruises, she gasped in surprise.

What is going on? How did I feel so fast? I thought, “I guess I'm better off than you thought.” without much thought, I peeled off every bandage on me. They were all the same, just scars, they looked to be several months old…

“What?” the nurse said in shock, recoiling from me.

“Are you okay?” I asked her. Now she's the one with problems, I thought bitterly.

She recomposed herself, seeming to want to go; she asked, “Yes, I'm fine. Uhh, your mom's here, would you like to see her?”

“Yeah, sure.” I said. Oh great, stupid mom's here…

“Okay.” she said brightly, exiting, "Don't get up though.”

I wondered about what had happened to me while I was waiting. Why did I heal so fast? I've never healed very good before. What was that thing that attacked me?

I didn’t have more time to think because my mom came in with the nurse. My mom was wearing a black dress with silver trimmings, diamond earrings, black eye shadow, and her pitch-black hair fixed up in a bun. The overall effect made her look pretty. She obviously didn’t care to much, since she still had time to fix her hair and face. I thought grimly.

“Where’s dad?” I asked, not really caring where he was.

“He had to go to work still, he’s out of vacation and sick days.” she explained, her dark blue eyes sparkling warmly at me, mine stared back; same color, but icy-cold…

“Oh,” I said, he was probably off somewhere when he said he was going to work. “Do you know when I can get out of here?” I directed my question to the nurse, deciding to ignore my mom.

“Probably by tomorrow night; but if I get a blood sample now, I might be able to get you going by tonight if you’re doing better.” the nurse said, walking over to the cabinets and opening a drawer.

“Yeah, okay.” I said, whatever I can do to get away from this stupid place.

She brought over another needle and paused before sticking it in my arm, oh please. I thought, like something is wrong…

Then I felt another rush of animal fear, what the heck is going on? I thought, feeling the prick and then feeling the blood rushing out of the small wound. Then, the needle stopped working.

The nurse pulled it out, the spot healed as soon as it was out, “What?” she muttered.

“Isn’t that enough?” I asked, feeling a little rush of wooziness again. Jeez, why am I so tired anyway?

“Yeah, wait here.” she quickly hurried out of the room…

Last edited by Guard13007; 10-20-2008 at 10:51 PM.
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  #3  
Old 10-06-2008, 10:50 PM
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Default Re: Tainted Life

A fairly interesting way to start the story. Pretty short for a chapter, I hope they'll start getting longer. Can't say much for the story (due it being the first chapter), but there were a few grammatical errors here and there, mostly relating to how to properly write dialogue, but not that big of a concern. A little heavy on the dialogue side, and it could definitely use a little more detail and description, but since it's just the first, very short chapter, I'm reserving judgment.

Oh, also, you shouldn't make the thread until you have at least a prologue ready to go.
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Old 10-07-2008, 05:10 AM
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Default Re: Tainted Life

awesome chap! it rocks!
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  #5  
Old 10-07-2008, 05:14 PM
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Default Re: Tainted Life

great! ill be keeping an eye on this from the beginning!
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  #6  
Old 10-11-2008, 06:10 PM
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Question Re: Tainted Life

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Originally Posted by Lusankya View Post
A fairly interesting way to start the story. Pretty short for a chapter, I hope they'll start getting longer. Can't say much for the story (due it being the first chapter), but there were a few grammatical errors here and there, mostly relating to how to properly write dialogue, but not that big of a concern. A little heavy on the dialogue side, and it could definitely use a little more detail and description, but since it's just the first, very short chapter, I'm reserving judgment.

Oh, also, you shouldn't make the thread until you have at least a prologue ready to go.
Yeah...You mean like a long chapter titled 'Prologue'? Well I just write chapters and no prologue, if you keep reading it, you find out things later on...

And I do have several chapters ready to go but I can't post them because of computer errors...

And if you're going to tell me there are errors, can you tell me where?
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Old 10-11-2008, 06:19 PM
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Default Re: Tainted Life

Well, it's nothing major, just some long sentences that would be better off as two shorter ones, and some awkward comma (or lack of comma) placement.
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Dali: "You're right. Let's take some cats and splash them with water."
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  #8  
Old 10-28-2008, 12:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Lusankya View Post
Well, it's nothing major, just some long sentences that would be better off as two shorter ones, and some awkward comma (or lack of comma) placement.
That's just how I roll. Anyhow, sorry for super double posting and all but I got some new chapies.
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  #9  
Old 10-28-2008, 12:47 AM
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Tainted Life

Chapter 2: Cravings

The nurse came back a while later and told me that I could go home as soon as they gave me some medicine, what they gave me turned out to be a ton of vitamins, minerals, protein, carbohydrates, and sugars. Why this stuff? I had thought.

They had told me that somehow my body used up every bit of energy I had to heal quickly and they had never seen anything like it before.
What is going on? I had thought again, is this why I’m so tired???

***

When I got home to my family’s small, red-brick house; I went straight for the kitchen. I had a strange craving for meat, any meat at all. Even with all the junk they had given me, I was still starving.

Everything was made of wood or was designed to look like wood in our kitchen, I noticed something I had never noticed before. The place reeked of smells of rotten food. Mom sure has let this place go, I thought. I opened the fridge and looked around; there was turkey lunch meat that smelled bad somehow, some sort of noodles dish that smelled bad to me, a glass of half-drunken milk that smelled expired. I chose the lunch meat.

As soon as I put a piece in my mouth, I spat it out in disgust. Yuck! I cried out in thought. My dog, just happening to walk in at the moment, got hit in the face. He quickly gobbled it down, “Hey Striker.” I said, smiling.

His tail went in between his golden colored legs and he growled at me, what the? He recoiled a few feet, then turned and ran out the dog door next to the kitchen. What was that all about? I thought.

I turned back to the package of lunch meat, I threw it out and got out another; this time checking the expiration date. It was-according to the package-still good, I put a piece in my mouth and spat it out, it was just as bad. I picked up the piece I spat out and threw all of it out too.

In despair, I turned back to the fridge and rummaged through it until I found a package of plain bacon. This might do, I thought. I put them in the microwave and turned it on; I then sat down at the small, wooden, plain table next to the kitchen that served as the dinning table and waited for them to cook.

When they were done, I grabbed them and somehow lost control of myself. An animal craving and hunger took me over. I shoved them all in my mouth at the same time and chewed rapidly, and then swallowed. What the h*** is going on? Why did I do that? I stumbled over to the small, light gray couch in the living room and-finally having run out of all my energy-fell asleep…

***

I woke up the next morning and wondered why I was on the couch. Then I noticed the time and hurried to get ready-I was late for school, running down the small hall into my room on the left. I threw on a black T-shirt and blue jeans, slipped into a pair of black shoes, and slung over my shoulders a dark blue backpack. Then I was ready to go, but something made me stop and glance around.

My room was set up like this: the dark brown door in the lower left corner; on it’s right was my bed; and behind that were the mirrored doors of the closet on the right wall; on the other side were a dresser, dark brown; and a small, tan work desk with a gray laptop and gray printer on it.

Then I noticed something that seemed really odd; on my arm, the scars were completely gone. That is weird, I thought, glancing at the mirror again. My arm was visibly stronger, the muscle clearly standing out beneath the skin. What the heck? What is happening to me? I thought in fear, quickly going to the kitchen. I tried to act like nothing was wrong, grabbing a pop tart and taking a bite. At least that tastes right…

I hurried out the door, my mom had already left for work so I had to walk to get to school…

***

At school, everything seemed different today. Everything had distinct smells-good an bad-and the sound was unbelievably loud, why can’t people just talk anymore? I thought for what had to be the millionth time, what has changed since last weekend? And then the answer hit me, and it shocked me, I’ve changed. It has to be me. Everything got weird after that, dog or whatever attacked me…

I was walking through a wide, tan walled, outdoor hallway heading to my next class in a crushing array of people; PE. There was a bridge between this building and the next ahead of me, there it was three stories and I was on the second floor.

Then through the crowd I spotted my best friend since seventh grade, Chloe. She was wearing tight blue jeans and a dark blue T-shirt; she had hazel eyes and light brown hair.

“Hey Chloe!” I yelled over the crowd.

She turned and looked right at me, pushing trough the heavy crowd; she smiled and waved, “Hi Adam.”

I managed to get next to her through the crush of people when the weirdest smell I’d ever smelled on her, hidden beneath whatever perfume she was wearing. It made me instinctively think of wolves, what the heck? I thought for what had to be the twentieth time in two days.

“Where were you yesterday?” she asked, “I had to deal with James all by myself!” Then her smile faded, she had noticed a small scar above my left eyebrow. “What happened to you?”

“Oh that? Just a scratch, my dog decided to paw at my face to wake me up Saturday.” I lied, deciding not to tell her what really happened, “What’s up with you?”

The smile returned slightly, “Oh, I just got a cold.” she muttered disappointedly, “No excitement whatsoever.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, it does.” she seemed to be hiding something. I didn’t have time to think though because the warning bell for class rung.

“Goodbye.” I said.

“See you at lunch.” Chloe answered.
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  #10  
Old 10-30-2008, 07:19 PM
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Default Re: Tainted Life

Yay great chapter! The way you are writing this story feels so real, and the conversations sound real too, keep it up!
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  #11  
Old 11-04-2008, 10:27 PM
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Tainted Life

Chapter 3: Strange Impluses

Bring! The bell rung, signaling the end of forth period and the beginning of second lunch. Everyone in Mr. Ramey’s small classroom bolted for the door, in a hurry for horrible food and to get away from Mr. Ramey. If they were lucky, they’d get out before he said what the homework was and then have a liable excuse for why they didn’t do it. But he had gotten good at the game and was already screaming it out, “Page 203 to 217, all problems!”

“Oh c***.” I muttered, “Not that much, please…” I walked out of the barren room, he had never had anything on the white walls and covered the windows with black curtains. He preferred everything barren and white or black. The floor would have been black probably if he had a choice, but all the rooms had dark blue. The only thing not white and barren besides the curtains and floor were wooden, dark brown bookshelves holding the math books for the class…

I was very glad to be rid of Mr. Ramey for the day, mean was his middle name. I was itching to kill him the whole period, even more so than usual… At least his room is right next to the senior lunch area. I thought, heading to the lunch window in the side of the building that served as a cafeteria and wondering why I was feeling unusually aggressive today. The cafeteria was connected in a “L” shape to the building with Mr. Ramey’s classroom in it.

I stared at the completely pitch-black window and tried to figure out if someone was behind it yet or not. There was a weird, funky smell coming from it so I guessed someone was there.

“What do you want?” asked a mean, male, gravelly voice. Why do I always get the mean person?

“Hey Adam!” Chloe appeared out of nowhere walking up to the window next to me, “I’ll have a plain chicken sandwich, please.”

“How do you do that?” I muttered.

“Here you go, sweetie.” a woman’s voice said to Chloe.

Chloe asked me, “Do what?” she punched in her ID number and grabbed the tray in front of her, “Thanks.”

“Appear out of nowhere.” I answered.

“You gonna order or what?”

“Yes, I’ll have a plain chicken-” I stopped talking when a tray was shoved rudely in my face. I felt a sudden impulse to break through the glass and strangle him. What?

I punched in my number and picked up the tray, shoving the machine against the window, hard. Then I walked away… Why did I do that? I thought, I wouldn’t do that… I then noticed Chloe had left without waiting or answering my question.

I looked around for a place to sit; the area I was in had several S-shaped, concrete benches that were painted blue and white; also there were randomly placed trees throughout the space, to small to tell what kind they were; overall there were ten of the long benches and fourteen trees in the fifty by fifty foot space.

I spotted Chloe over next to a tree on a bench getting what little shade she could, I went over to her and sat down, “You never answered my question. How do you appear out of nowhere?”

“Magic.” she said in a joking voice.

“Yeah, and pigs will fly…” I answered, leaning back against the dark brown bark of the small tree. I took a bite of the sandwich, it was the best I'd had in days… Now I know why she always gets this……
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Old 11-09-2008, 06:05 AM
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Tainted Life

Chapter 4: Strange Cells

As I was heading down another one of the tan walled, crowded hallways of Silverado High School, I had-yet again-another urge to do something destructive and totally inhuman. I had the almost carnal desire to rip out someone’s throat. What the f***?!? I yelled out at myself in my head, it all started after that attack…

What is wrong with me? Why is this happening? What was I attacked by? The questions and several more swirled in my head and threatened to cause me to become psychotic. I’m probably already crazy, I thought glumly. Then a thought occurred to me, if I’m crazy or something really did happen to me; then wouldn’t there be a way to check? Then an answer shoved it’s way into my thoughts, microscope! I could use a microscope!

I headed towards the science labs, maybe there’s an answer hidden in my cells… Luckily this school allowed anyone to go into the labs at any time and work on something…

I went across a bridge between buildings and down the cement stairs. I turned the corner and opened the dark blue door to the lab. I went in. The room was a 30 foot box, like all the other labs; it had bright red safety posters above the sinks that were all on the right of the door; tan metal cabinets with the paint peeling in the very back; four large, silver, metal tables-one in each corner; white tile floor, ceiling, and walls; a fire blanket, eye-washing equipment, and a large fire extinguisher; and two whiteboards on the front wall.

I went to the back and pulled out a big and black compound microscope, white rag, and a silver little scalpel. Luckily there was no one in this particular lab at the time so I could do what I was about to do without anyone going crazy about it. I put the rag on the table and my right arm on top of it, then I slowly drew the scalpel across the flesh and took off a small chunk. Wincing in pain, the only two thoughts I had were. Oh c***, that’s a lot of blood. And, ouch, that hurts. I had cut deeper than I had meant to and hoped it would heal quickly like it had before… It did of course, like everything else…

I put the piece on the little tray on the microscope and looked through the lens. What I saw was amazing, I zoomed in on the edges and saw where a cell had been split in half. As I watched, it completely regenerated. What is this? How is it possible? I grabbed a biology textbook from a shelf in the closet still open behind me and opened it up, I turned to the page on the parts of a cell… Mitochondria, lysosomes, ribosomes, cytoplasm, nucleus, and cell membrane were the technical names of the major parts of a cell. The mitochondria-it said-were what produced enzymes to convert food into energy; in my cells, there were almost double the amount of these than what it showed normal people have.

What happened to change this? I looked back at the book, lysosomes had a similar function and there were also more of them. The nucleus was-of course-the “control center” of the cell, mine looked like any other compared to the book. But there was something in my cells that wasn’t in the book, around the cell membrane-just inside it-were several dots that had no apparent function. And one more thing, small blocks inside the cytoplasm that also were a mystery to me. Well, that may explain how I’m able to heal so fast, but what about the other stuff?

Then my friend James burst in the room, “What’s up, Adam?”

I was so engrossed in what I was looking at that I didn’t hear him coming to the door. I quickly hid the bloody rag and piece of skin in my back pocket, “Nothing!” I called.

“What are you doing?” he asked. He had black hair and bright green eyes. Always being the one with crazy clothes, he was wearing bright purple jeans and a dark blue shirt.

“Nothing.” I said, “Jeez, ever heard of normal clothes?”

“Nope.” he said with a smile, “Let’s blow this joint and go to the mall again.”

“Nah, don’t wanna fail. Wait ‘til the boring day is over, then we can go. But mom won’t let me use the car, so unless-”

“Got it, man.” James said, pulling out a pair of car keys.

“Alright.” The bell rang, “See ya.”

“Yeah.” James said, walking out.

“How’d you know I was here anyhow?” I asked.

“Ask Chloe, she’s the one who sniffed you out.” he exited.

They both had no idea how true James's words were……
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Old 11-10-2008, 07:19 PM
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Default Re: Tainted Life

......good chapter, it was so..... Awesome.... XD
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Old 11-13-2008, 10:15 PM
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Originally Posted by ElectrikeLover1996 View Post
......good chapter, it was so..... Awesome.... XD
Yeah, and sorry about using your name. I didn't even realize it until I was done typing it. X) Anyhow, my computer completely and totally crashed again so it may be a while before the next chapter...

Rock ON!
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Old 11-22-2008, 09:27 PM
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Tainted Life

Chapter 5: James’s Joke

James, Chloe, and I were silently eating lunch together; me lost in my thoughts about whatever was going on with me, James and Chloe-they just looked bored with the dreary school day.

“I’m bored out of my mind.” Chloe muttered, confirming my beliefs.

“Me too.” I answered, alone with glum thoughts is a very boring activity.

James whispered something in Chloe’s ear and she choked on the milk she was drinking from a small carton that came with the lunches. She laughed loudly and then started coughing. “D*** cold, can’t even laugh.” She muttered.

I wasn’t really paying attention and didn’t hear what James said, “What?” I asked innocently.

“He said: ‘Well if you’re bored, ask Adam out and see what his reaction is. It should be worth a laugh or two’.” Chloe explained, still coughing and laughing.

I made the unfortunate mistake of drinking my milk and did the exact same thing as she did, except for the coughing.

Then I decided to pull the same trick back on them, “Why not?”

James’s smile dropped, Chloe’s widened. “Are you serious?” she asked.

“Sure.” I said jokingly.

“Okay.” Chloe said seriously.

“Okay?” I asked, my smile gone. She’s serious, I thought.

“Okay.” She repeated.

“When and where?” I asked.

“How about the day after tomorrow?” Chloe asked.

“That’s October sixteenth.” James put in unhelpfully.

“That’s good.” I said, my smile returned. I guess I have a new girlfriend, I thought. But what if I screw it up?

“The fanciest place you know at three.” Chloe finished.

“That would be an In-N’-Out.” I joked.

“That’s fine.” Chloe said; thankfully, the bell chose to ring at that moment-saving me from any awkward moments of silence.

“See ya, Chloe.” I said.

“Bye.” She called as she started to walk to her next class.

As soon as I thought she was out of earshot, I muttered, “I wonder if she knew I was joking…”

“Well, whether you’re joking or not, you got a date now. Are you going to thank me?” James asked me.

“I’ll thank you if it goes well.” I muttered dryly. I could’ve sworn I saw Chloe smile and heard her laugh at that. She shouldn’t be able to hear us from that far away over the crowd, I thought. Neither should you, I told myself…
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